They also say something about being in the right place at the right time and I've found that to be quite accurate on many occasions also.
Don't you ever wonder who THEY are?
(They) said I most certainly needed to add a blog to my web site. So, here it is and I feel like I'm 10 years old again, writing in my diary with big brother holding it up for the whole world to see.
Since I'm obligated to share some thoughts, the picture is a poster announcing a book signing I got myself into at Mills Fleet Farm in Fargo, ND.
Writing a book was not on my list of things "to do" when I grew up and I've never even seen a book signing so this should prove to be a very interesting and hopefully not to embarrassing day.
The stores manager is parking me next to a display of salted nut rolls and gave the go-ahead to offer one to each costumer that purchases a book. I'm thinking maybe some extra cash in my pocket may also be helpful for a bribe or two "if it's slow and I'm hungry."
Here's my column that will published in this Thursdays paper http://www.thefmextra.com/
Writing my first one over five years ago, the publisher said "you wrote one, now you have to keep going each week."
Not sure if I was in the right or wrong place, guess we'll see.
Listed by Craig
I don’t know who this Craig fellow is, but he’s made up one heck of a list. Stumbling upon his Web site a few months back after typing in a search for craft supplies, I was astonished at the absolute smorgasbord of goods and services offered.
All in one shot I could rent a limo, talk about my cat’s burping problem and find him if he was lost. If I were lost, I could purchase a map, buy a new truck and learn how to replace the engine in one easy step after renting a live clown for a birthday party and buying tickets to a concert.
This guy must also have a screw loose as he also gives tons of good stuff away, for free!
Honing in on the Farm & Garden category, I hit the jackpot with everything from a fainting goat to a combine for sale. Craig really knows how to pique a person’s interest with every category imaginable, and – get this! – there are photos of most of the items. Now, how cool is that?
The ringing phone was hopping around on the receiver very suspiciously and I should have known it would be one those “Honey I need a pull” calls, or on the same order. Craig’s inventory would have to wait; the cows were out.
Rounding up the critters was no easy task; harder yet was keeping my mouth zipped as the hole in the fence was fixed with the last of what I had thought were my well-hidden spare boards for the horse arena.
Ed had hammers and nails flying all over the place. In between ducks, I heard him mumble something about needing solid oak boards as they were pretty much unbreakable. A little idea popped into my head as I fended off a flying board: Maybe Craig’s catalog would hold some nice long plains of oak, if I asked nice.
Listening to the lull of rounded-up cattle out the open window, I set about on my computer to inquire on Craig’s well-thought-out list if he’d seen or heard of any boards of the oak variety. Placing the “wanted” ad was easy until step three asked for a photo. Debating whether to go back out and knock the fence down to take a picture of “missing and broken boards,” I opted to explain my needs in a well-thought-out line.
Wanted: Oak Boards.
Hoping that Craig would find me a lumberyardful, I went about my chores and headed to the horse barn to stake out a bigger arena.
The next morning there was an e-mail from a guy not too far away explaining that he had a bunch of oak in many different board feet and I was welcome to give him a call. Not sure if I dared ask what “board feet” were, I dialed with caution. Mr. Johnson’s kind clarification of how boards were measured “by the foot” was good enough for me, and I called Ed, who was off to pick up some machinery thing-a-ma-jig and wasn’t too far from Johnson’s residence.
Ed wanted to know who Craig was and why he was calling me about some boards he had for sale; I had to pick my words carefully. Trying to explain the “list” and that, yes, there was a guy named Craig but he was in some distant land, I had to cover the receiver when the giggles kicked in. As I clarified that I had never met Craig in person, Ed seemed to “get it” that this was an Internet site and I was just trying to help him find some boards.
Repeating the directions I was given by Mr. Johnson, I wished Ed a happy day and good luck purchasing his lumber.
I was thinking I would have to dig out the directions when Ed called back a while later. His stern voice relayed that Craig wanted to know if 10-foot boards would work for my horse arena. Embarrassed, I explained to Ed that Craig was probably not even a real person at all and that the e-mail from Mr. Johnson was just an inquiry off my Internet posting and, no, Ed, I’ve never met the guy before.
The pickup pulled into the driveway loaded with oak boards and I was handed a receipt in a huff. Thinking this was the last dang time I would try to help out, I glanced at the paper and then had to do a double-take as Ed stood waiting for an explanation. Oh, crap – at the top there was a photo of Johnson (a very handsome photo), and at the bottom was the name of his company: Craig Johnson’s Lumber Yard…
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